Living Trust Planning | Estate Planning Attorney

Tag: loved ones

  • Awakened Planning: How to Talk About Estate Planning at Your Family Reunion

    Awakened Planning: How to Talk About Estate Planning at Your Family Reunion

    July is National Family Reunion Month and the perfect time to reconnect with family from near and far, share life’s updates, and reminisce about the wonderful memories you share together. If you’re getting together with family this month, it’s also a perfect time to talk to your loved ones about your shared goals, family resources, and the legacy you want to leave behind for the next generation. 

    You might think that estate planning is too somber a topic for a happy family reunion, but it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer to your loved ones by giving everyone time to speak openly about their wishes for the family and can help everyone feel unified by working together toward the family’s future wellbeing.

    Not sure how to bring up estate planning in a way that makes your family feel empowered? Keep reading to learn how to navigate the conversation without scaring away party guests!

    Invite Your Loved Ones to the Conversation In Advance

    No one wants to be that party guest who won’t stop talking about a sad news story or their personal troubles. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to share the good and the bad with our loved ones, but pushing a mellow topic at a happy occasion is sure to dampen the mood and turn off the other guests.

    Instead of bringing up the topic on the spot at your reunion, reach out to your relatives in advance and let them know that you’d like to set aside some time during the reunion to talk about your family’s legacy and how you can work together to take care of each other in the future. 

    Everyone likes to feel they’re being looked after and that their input in family matters is wanted and valued. Any ongoing concerns with your family, such as an aging relative’s declining memory or your upcoming knee surgery, are great lead-ins to bring up the topic in a way that feels natural.

    If anyone is resistant to the idea of talking about estate planning, don’t push them. Instead, keep your energy warm and empathetic, and keep the invitation to the discussion open in case they change their mind.

    Be Vulnerable and Explain Why Estate Planning Is Important to You

    Assure everyone that the goal of the conversation is to make sure the family’s future security and well-being are taken care of no matter what happens – not to try and pry into anyone’s finances, health, or relationships. Instead, it’s about ensuring everyone’s wishes are clearly understood and respected, and not about finding out how much money someone stands to inherit.

    Be sure to tell your family that talking about these issues now is also a good way to avoid future conflict and expense. When family members don’t clearly understand the reasoning behind one another’s planning choices, it’s likely to breed conflict, resentment, and even costly legal battles in the future. 

    Instead, tell your loved ones that you’d like to start the conversation about estate planning early and continue it as an open dialogue with the whole family for years to come. Positioning the conversation as one about planning for the future health and well-being of your family rather than as a conversation about dividing assets at someone’s death will help your relatives will feel more at ease, and some may even be eager to be involved in the conversation.

    If you haven’t yet handled your own planning, now would be a great time to start. You can have the conversation with your loved ones by sharing about your personal experience and how handling your own estate planning has helped you to think more deeply about what matters to you, how you want to live out the rest of your life, and how you’d love to share this experience with your whole family.

    Set a Time and Place for the Conversation

    Rather than trying to find the right moment to bring up the topic, set a time and a place with your family in advance of the get-together. Be sure to schedule a specific time, but don’t feel like the meeting invite needs to sound too serious or foreboding. Asking if everyone can meet around the fire pit at 6:00 pm or meet at your house for coffee at 9:00 am is perfect.  

    I also recommend giving everyone an end time for the discussion as well. By doing this, your loved ones will know what to expect and won’t feel worried that the conversation will eat up too much of their time.

    Setting boundaries for the conversation will also help motivate members of your family to participate and stay on topic.

    To make things even easier, come to the meeting with a list of the most important points you’d like to cover and encourage your family members to do the same. But keep the list short so you don’t go over the time you’ve set aside for the discussion.

    If there are too many things to cover in the time allotted, that’s okay. Talk about the most important topics and agree as a family to get together again on a specific date either in person, on the phone, or via video chat to continue the discussion and flesh out any details that were left for later.

    Focus on Your Family’s Legacy

    While talking to your loved ones about estate planning, remember to talk about your family’s legacy and your desire to pass on your cumulative stories, memories, values, and lessons to the younger generation and beyond. A family reunion is a wonderful way to come together, and estate planning can be an amazing tool for memorializing your family’s most important assets – your human assets.

    You and your loved ones have generations of stories, traditions, and triumphs worth protecting and celebrating. Let your family know that estate planning isn’t just about planning for death – it’s also about planning ahead so you can enjoy your life to the fullest knowing that everything and everyone you love will be taken care of if you become ill or when you die. 

    For my clients, it’s also a unique opportunity to capture your family’s most valued memories and stories through a process I call the Family Wealth Legacy Interview. During the interview, I help my clients record the things that mean the most to them and the things they want to pass on that are far more valuable than money.

    What would be more precious than being able to share and watch this recording of our loved ones at future family reunions for generations to come? 

    If you would like more advice on how to talk to your family about estate planning or are interested in beginning your own estate planning journey so you can ensure your family is taken care of and share your personal planning experience with your family, give me a call at (650) 600-1735.

    It’s my passion to guide you through every stage of planning your life and legacy, and when there’s an opportunity for an entire family to come together on their estate planning goals, love and happiness are bound to follow.

    This article is a service of Jeannette Marsala, Personal Family Lawyer. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session, during which you’ll get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.

  • Capturing the Stories of Aging Loved Ones: The Power of a Family Wealth Legacy Interview

    Capturing the Stories of Aging Loved Ones: The Power of a Family Wealth Legacy Interview

    May is Senior Citizen’s Month, a time to reflect and appreciate all the things the seniors in our lives have done for us. Whether they’re our parents, grandparents, or elderly friends, our seniors have given us so much over the years. But sometimes seeing your loved ones aging or seeing how you’ve aged yourself may remind you of how quickly time passes and how much you wish you could pause life. 

    When you think about a loved one who has passed away, you probably don’t give much thought to the material things they’ve left you. Maybe you have a piece of their clothing that you sometimes hold close to your heart or a favorite item of theirs displayed proudly on a shelf. But what you value most about that object likely isn’t its monetary worth but the memories it evokes of your loved one and the time you spent together. You wish you could still hear from them, learn from them, and share memories with them.

    I know the value of planning for what happens to your financial assets. But I also know that there is something even more valuable to pass on to your loved ones than money – your stories, lessons, insights, and values. While we might not be able to pause time, there are things we can do to preserve the precious memories and lessons of the people we love.

    That’s why I offer a unique service to my clients called a Family Wealth Legacy Interview to help preserve your unique legacy for future generations. The Family Wealth Legacy process is built into all of our plans, and it’s an opportunity to share your love with the ones you care about most, and if you have aging parents or grandparents, the Family Wealth Legacy Interview is an even more important way to preserve their stories and create a cherished memory of their legacy for years to come.

    What to Expect During Your Family Wealth Legacy Interview

    Family Wealth Legacy Interviews are a key part of my Life & Legacy Planning process. If the idea of giving an interview sounds intimidating, don’t worry – the process is an easy conversation, and most of my clients tell me that their Family Wealth Legacy Interview was their favorite part of the estate planning process and a heart-touching experience.

    During your Family Wealth Legacy Interview, we’ll ask you a series of helpful questions and prompts that we plan in advance. Or, you can talk freely about whatever you’d like to share with your loved ones. It’s your interview, so I encourage you to be your authentic self and make it your own. We’ll be there the entire time to guide you through the process. 

    We’ll record your interview on video, either in-person or remotely, depending on your preference. After the interview is completed, we’ll edit the footage and provide you with a digital recording that can be shared with your family members or kept with your estate planning materials as a special memento of your story and your love for your family.

    We’ve built this into all of our plans because we find that while everyone says they intend to document stories and write letters to their loved ones, very few people ever actually get around to it.

    Starting the Conversation with Your Loved Ones

    Talking to your aging loved ones about estate planning and the legacy that they’ll leave behind can be difficult or uncomfortable for a lot of people. We all deal with the concept of aging and dying differently. Some of us avoid the topic altogether, and others will make light of it and even joke about “kicking the bucket.” But it’s important to have a conversation about your elder’s wishes and how much it would mean to you for them to plan ahead.

    If you aren’t sure how your loved one will respond to the topic, try to come from a vulnerable place, and not from a place of any sort of judgment if they joke about death. Instead, remember that they’re joking because they might be afraid. 

    Try saying something like, “I know this might be hard to talk about, but it’s something that’s really important to me. If something does happen to you, I want to make sure that we’re able to take care of you, and I know that you wouldn’t want to leave us with a big mess.”

    You could also let your loved one know how much you value them, and how much it would mean to you for them to create a Family Wealth Interview so that you have a recording of them as they are right now before illness or incapacity are even a part of the picture.

    By approaching the conversation in a vulnerable way, they’ll likely be more receptive to the idea of planning for their assets and more intentional in how they leave their legacy behind for the ones they care about.

    Bringing Families Closer Together

    Besides preserving a message for your loved ones, the Family Wealth Legacy Interview is a great time to reconnect with the moments and memories from your life that you might have otherwise forgotten. 

    In today’s hectic world, it can be hard to live in the moment, but by taking a little time to reflect on where your life has taken you, you’ll remember all that you’ve accomplished and all that you want to share with your loved ones, not just in your Family Wealth Legacy Interview, but every day. 

    Even after the interview is finished, you’ll likely live your life with more intention and awareness of how you want to pass on your values, insights, stories, and experiences in your day-to-day life. And if a senior member of your family is completing their Family Wealth Legacy Interview, you can feel at ease knowing that no matter what the future holds, you’ll always have a video of your loved one sharing their stories, their hopes, their jokes, and their love with you.

    The Importance of Life & Legacy Planning

    The Family Wealth Legacy Interview is a wonderful tool for seniors and their families, and I offer it as a complementary service to all of my estate planning clients, young and old. It’s part of my comprehensive Life & Legacy Planning process, which goes beyond creating documents and takes a holistic approach to planning for a life you love and a legacy your loved ones will cherish forever.

    At the core of Life & Legacy Planning is the understanding that your family’s most precious wealth is not money, but the memories you make, the values you instill, and the lessons you pass down. By planning for your life and legacy, you can ensure that your family’s wealth is preserved and protected for generations to come. 

    I believe that Life & Legacy Planning is not a one-time event but an ongoing process because it mirrors the ongoing process of your life. By working with an attorney who knows you and has a relationship with you, you make your Life & Legacy Planning as effective as possible and have the opportunity to continue to record your values and wisdom in additional Family Wealth Legacy Interviews as life goes on.

    Whether you’re growing your family or well into retirement, I work with you to create a plan that evolves over time and adapts to changes in your life and family circumstances.

    If you want to pass on more than money to the ones you love and leave them with an even greater gift that they’ll treasure for generations, give me a call at (650) 600-1735. And if you have a senior loved one, contact me today to see how I can help them not only make a plan for their assets, but capture the love and memories they share with you.

    This article is a service of Jeannette Marsala, Personal Family Lawyer. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session, during which you’ll get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.

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